Antal indlæg : 904 Age : 30 Location : Sønderjylland. Registration date : 12/01/08
Emne: Prøve; Famous Last Words Fre Dec 12, 2008 8:26 pm
Som sagt er jeg igang med en ny fic. Jeg vil rigtig gerne hører jeres mening før jeg lægger den ind på Dfied. For at vide om den er noget værd, eller om jeg bare skal droppe den. Så man kan næsten sige at det her er en slags 'prøve'
Alt er skrevet på engelsk, og den hedder 'Famous Last Words'
Håber i gider og tag jer tid til at læse og kommentere? - Det ville gøre mig meget glad.. Jeg vil lægge det første stykke ind når jeg har noget responds. For at hører om i er interesseret i at læse den ;D
...Forhåbenligt, så tak på forhånd.
Ditte xx
Annesteg Star Girl
Antal indlæg : 1416 Age : 31 Location : Jylland Registration date : 26/06/08
Emne: Sv: Prøve; Famous Last Words Fre Dec 12, 2008 9:23 pm
Are you kidding mig?
Selvfølgelig vil jeg læse den! De andre er jo super gode, skynd dig at poste det første!
Ditte Star Girl
Antal indlæg : 904 Age : 30 Location : Sønderjylland. Registration date : 12/01/08
Emne: Sv: Prøve; Famous Last Words Fre Dec 12, 2008 10:10 pm
Aww. Tak Anne.. Det betyder enormt meget for mig. ;D Her er så Prologuen. _________________________________________________________
Prologue;
She never planned on getting skinny, or have the long legs and great shape, the boned body as her mother and brother used to tell her. 'Cause when she was a little girl, she was the thick, ugly, friendless girl, she used to walk around alone in every break, but she was happy as she were. Unfortunatley a diseace put a stop for it. She lost er father just nine days after her fourteen year old birthday, two men in uniforms meet up by their door, and confirmed it. That kick-startet her "diseace". She pushed everything that just had something to do with food away. Not even apples, carrots or just ordinary salad would she even consider eating. No she pushed everything away, appart from; Chewing gum and cola. She lost her weight fast, just one and a half year later she got into the hospital, so was so skinny, that if she wouldn't be in the hospital the doctors were afraid of losing her. Her mothers thought of her young daughter having anorexia, got confirmed. Now three and a half year later, at the age of seventeen her body was only made of skin and bones, people still needed to push her to eating or she wouldn't. The progress was; she never stuck her fingers down her throat anymore, or was that what people believed?
She sat on the high bar chair fidget around with her drink, her long straight hair was hanging casual down over her shoulders. She breath heavy and turned around scaning the room, but there was no sight of him. She took a little sip of her drink and got down of the chair leaving her drink at the bar. Her long tanned thin legs showing the way down to her feet there was squeezed into a pair of red hig heels, making everything that could hurt in her feet, hurt. As she walked through the crowd of dancing people, her tight black dress made every guy turn their head as it showed her skinny body and her perfect shape. She walked uncomfortable outside the club, she didn't like all the male attention, it made her sick how many men imagined women as a sex object.
She wraped her arms around her body, givng herself as much warm as possible. Saturday night was filled up with loud voices, laughing and screaming, the cars was flashing by her one by one in high speed. She walked across the street and into the park, the bright and loud street got exchanged with the dark and quietness in the comfortable park of London. She spottet a bench near some bushes, she sat down on the bench feeling a slight cold and crossed her legs looking around. Everything was quiet and peacefull, away from all the noice and the drunk people. She looked to her left, finding the old swings. She remembered how her father teached her to swing, and don't be afraid when she was up in the air and her hair flushed infront of her face. She quickly turned her head, as the peacefull area changed, she looked at five people walking her way. They looked like a punch of friends, maybe a couple between them having some quiet time. They got closer, she squeezed her eyes together concentrating as they looked familiar. "Shit!"She mumbled as they only were around seventeen feet away. If she would keep study them, they would quickly notice her curious.
She looked down on the ground, and spottet a heartshaped stone. Her eyes were studying it's colour, shape and the stain on it. It looked so smooth, and soft in a way, she bend down and reached out for it, as she got it in between her small fingers it was just as she thought it would be. Smooth. She let it slide down into her palm folding her fingers gently around it. She took her eyes of her hand and brought them up to two pairs of dark brown eyes. They shined as two bright stars when the moonlight hit them, they were so deep and beaufitul. She blinked her eyes and moved her own sparkling blue eyes away from his, feeling the red colour flush into her cheeks.
"Are you alright there, you look pale!"A male voice asked, it was careing, comfortable and a slight lisping. She nodded, as an answer, she wasn't able to speak as he had kicked her feet away under her. She could hear a smile appeared on his face as he went down on his knees getting eye-contact with her, but she kept looking in the other direction. "You don't look like that!" He said insisting. This time she looked at him. "I'm just a bit dizzy. She breathed and pressed her lip together, forming a little smile. He placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'm Tom. what's your name?" He asked and got up from the ground and sat next to her on the bench. She looked at his four friends. "Bella.. really, you should just go with your friends!" She laughed, making everything sounds as it was alright. He looked from Bella to his four friends and back again. "Are you sure we shouldn't fallow you home?"He said and ignored her insist of him just leaving her alone. "We would be glad to help you!"He said. She nodded. "there is no need, I know why I'm dizzy!" Bella explained, and lift her head as there went a few giggles from his group of friends.
"Girl problem!"She heard a guy whisper. "Shut up!" A guy said and hit the other one, she smiled a bit to herself and turned back to Tom. "Really, it's not a girl problem, but I can handle it!"Bella said and smiled to him. "Erm, I should go!"She said and got up from the bench walking past his friends and out on the street again. She smiled to herself, someone cared, but her smile fated away as she head whispering from the groupe again. "Oh my god, she's so skinny!" a girl said behinde her, Bella shook her head and closed her eyes, standing still on the sidewalk.
She woke up by the sound of her big brother slamming his drums on the other side of the wall, she let her hands grab her pillow and dragged it over her head. All the hitting and slamming in a fast beat, made every window move, giving her the hit that maybe it would break into a thousand pieces. Bella kicked the duvet off her slim body and sat up in her bed, looking at the big poster hanging over the mirror 'McFly'. She smiled and rolled her eyes taking a pair of skinnys on the floor, She felt slidely confused, last night after the night club, sitting on the bench she felt like they were there, that the five people she had meet were them and someone else obviously. She looked down on her feet the red nailpolish was still going strong. though there was something in her mind that told her that, what she saw last night was clean imagination, working from what she wanted in her dreams to see it infront of her in real life.
She got out of her bed and slide the skinny jeans over her legs and up to her waist, she turned around and looked into the mirror that went from the floor and almost all the way up to the ceiling. Her deep blue eyes was glued onto her belly, her slim, thin, tanned belly, she placed her hand on her belly and felt the skin in between her fingers as she squeezed her hand. The quiet face of hers turned up side down, she spit out her tongue in disgusting manner. "They don't like fate girls!" Bella mumbled to herself, her eyes were staring at her bare skin as she pointed towards the big McFly poster above the mirror. "You're fat, just like they told you!"She said cold and turned around getting a plain white t-shirt out of her closet, pulling it over her messy hair, thin head, her high cheekbones, and let her hands fall down onto her waist.
"Morning sunshine!"Her mother said smiling, from the kitchen table with a hot mug of coffee between her long fingers. Bella rubbed her eyes as the suns ray hit her face, making her bilnd. "morning!"Bella breathed and walked over to her brothers room, slamming the door open and walking inside crossing her arms over her chest. "Jaaacob! Shuuuuut uuup!"She yelled and smiled annoying to her brother. "Someone has a hang over eh?!"He grinned, Bella spin around on her heel and walked back out to her mother, sitting down beside her on the brown old stool. "Coffee?" Bella shook her head and grabbed two pills down from the shelf, she brought the pills to her mouth and swallowed. "Had a good night?"Her mother asked placing a hand on her back as Bella had sat down again. "Hmm. Was okay!" Bella answered and rubbed her neck, "I should get some air, my head is killing me!"Bella sighed. Her mother nodded and placed her mug in the dishwaser. "How much did you drink last night?" "Not enough!"Bella yelled back at her mother and walked into her room.
She stepped out of her clothes and walked into the shower, the hot water was casually falling down over her body,stroking her, making her relax and breath slowly.
Bella stepped out in the early sunday, the sun was setting high on the sky, making it nice and hot. She plucked her earphones into her ears and pressed play. The music flushed through her head, taking her away from everything, taking her to another level, when her iPod changed song and started playing 'Stargirl' she smiled and thought back on yesterday, again.
She put one foot infront of the other walking back to the park. She approached the park everything was different. The dark, quiet, peaceful park was gone, the place where you could look at your life, think about everything without getting interrupt was gone. The park was now, sunny, green and people were walking through it to reach a special place. She loundless entryed the park and look at the small children playing on the playground, on their parents having serious adult-conversations. She stared cold at two guys looking from a bench, they tried to be flashy and charm her with their smiles, but all she did was to completely shut them out and keep walking. She stopped and looked at a bench, this was then bench from last night, she let her body slide down and rest on the cold white bench.
Bella let her fingers slide over a heartshaped picture with a name written in the middel of it. "Alison?" she said and smiled. This Alison girl must be really lucky to have someone to care enough for her to write her name onto the bench of London, where everyone could see it. She flicked her eyes of the name and looked out on the grass, four guys were playing soccer, though it looked more like two guys playing and the other two were just kicking if they really had too. Bella giggled as the ball got kicked completely out of direction, fast making it way towards Bella on the bench. "Mate!" A curly haired guy complained, his hands were flicking around in the air. His body were very athletic, his arms and legs were long and on his right leg he had something that looked like a massive tattoo, his upper body was boiling red making his freckls look more striking. "you can run after that yourself!"He said and laid casually down on the ground.
Bella bend down and picked up the black and white ball. It looked so huge in between her small vulnerable hands. Her eyes went from the ball and to the guy who was now walking in her direction. "Heey!"He said as he stood infront of her, she got up from the bench and looked at the familiar comfortable eyes. She reached out the ball and smiled. "Isn't it you from... last night?" He said nervous, and took the ball out of her hands. Bella nodded and felt the red colour flush into her cheeks once again. "Tom right!"She said, her heart was beating so fast, there was no need to ask! It was Tom Fletcher, she was standing infront of her big hero, in her black outworn skinnys and her blue hoodie, and her matching blue convers. what a disaster. "Yep!"He grinned. "Bella.. nice to met you!"He said and reached out his right hand, Bella smiled and took it. "You too!"She smiled. Nodding towards his three friends. "They're waiting for you!"She breathed and sat down on the bench again. "Oh you mean the bunch of jerks over there?"He grinned and turned around.
Synes I? godt eller dårligt? noget der skal gøres bedre? sig endelig til ;D
Sidst rettet af Ditte Lør Apr 17, 2010 9:43 pm, rettet i alt 2 gange
Annesteg Star Girl
Antal indlæg : 1416 Age : 31 Location : Jylland Registration date : 26/06/08
Emne: Sv: Prøve; Famous Last Words Søn Dec 14, 2008 5:28 pm
Det er bare så godt, Ditte! Fortsæt endelig.
Det eneste der er trist er hvordan hun tænker om sig selv -.- - Sådan noget er bare det værste!
mcflys Star Girl
Antal indlæg : 883 Age : 30 Location : Silkeborg Registration date : 24/01/08
Emne: Sv: Prøve; Famous Last Words Søn Dec 14, 2008 5:52 pm
Ja det er mega godt (: Glæder mig til man kommer mere ind i det of finder ud af hvorfor hun ligesom har spiseforstyrelse... xD Og nej hvor er tom da bare dejlig (;
Sidsel Star Girl
Antal indlæg : 932 Age : 31 Location : HHE Registration date : 30/12/07
Emne: Sv: Prøve; Famous Last Words Søn Dec 14, 2008 6:28 pm
oh det er bare rigtig godt <3 Du skriver fantastisl godt hihi Glæder mig meget til mere.
MeusDeus Star Girl
Antal indlæg : 1026 Age : 30 Location : Århus Registration date : 01/09/08
Emne: Sv: Prøve; Famous Last Words Søn Dec 14, 2008 7:17 pm
du har så mange ting ind over på en så naturlig måde ! ej hvor er det godt altså !
Ditte Star Girl
Antal indlæg : 904 Age : 30 Location : Sønderjylland. Registration date : 12/01/08
Emne: Sv: Prøve; Famous Last Words Tirs Dec 23, 2008 12:05 am
....
Laaangt om længe kommer der mere ficcle. *cought* tak Sidsel* Cought* Håber i kan li' det ;D ?
Chapter three; "Wanna come?"Tom said fidget with the ball in his hands. "Eh... No I don't wanna be a problem!"Bella said, and smiled taking her iPod out of her pocket. She heard the ball fall to the ground. Lifting her head, she realized that Tom had kicked the ball over to his mates, stretching out his hand grabbing her wrist. "What are you doing?"She breathed. "You'e not a problem, and why not come, then you can be my excuse for not playing soccer!"Tom smiled. "Deal?" He questioned and flicked his light brown hair casually away from his deep brown eyes. "Yeah, sure!"Bella said and got up fallowing Tom, as they apporached the three other guys Bella hide behinde Tom, she was nervous, meeting her heros, but also the guys that in some way made her reject her food, she wanted to be perfect for them.
"Whaay mate, who's that!"Danny asked and smiled, he let her his hand. Bella took it and looked up from the ground, looking into a pair of big, blue sparkling crystal eyes. She looked at his thin lips as he spoke, moving over his straight white teeth. "Dan, this is Bella! from last night, you know!"Tom said and send his eyes down to Bella, Danny nodded understanding and turned around whistled after the two other guys, the dark haird guy had thrown the bleach blonde guy down to the ground sitting on top of him throwing grass into his head. He looked up and catched Dannys eyes, nodding. "Coming!"He yelled and got up from the guy laying under him, as he walked towards Bella, Tom and Danny, he checked Bella out with his eyes, not giving a good sign from his deep blue eyes. Bella went right back to the thought of her beeing to fat. Just a few feet away a black shadown came out and just a second later a little body was onto his back. "Dougie move!"He demanded, as the bleached blonde haird Dougie grinned goofy. "I've got you Haaaarry!"He teased, and messed up his hair. Bella giggled a bit and watched Harry throw Dougie off his back and kick him. "Relaaax!"Tom mumbled and walked in between them.
"Oh!"Dougie said and stood up again, his ocean blue star eyes were running up and down Bellas body, making her curl herself together. He put his hands to his hair and replaced it back to it's right position. "Doug!"He said nodding towards Bella, Harry did the same, but everytime Bella looked away she could feel everybodys eyes lean on her slim slim body. "Well, I'm Bella!"She said and sat down on the grass next to Tom where she felt a bit more comfortable. A uncomfortable and awkward silence felt between them, Bella spin her fingers around a bunch of green grass, trying to look busy, but it was pretty obvious that she wasn't. "Well, boys!"Tom said and looked up at Danny, Harry and Dougie. "You.. just go out and play!"He grinned. "Eay, that aint fair!"Dougie complained, "I could settle down here as well!"He said and jumped down on the soft grass next to Bella. "Dorks!"Danny mumbled and picked the ball up between his legs and started to play with it.
"McFly eh?"Bella said and sat up in the grass shifting her eyes between Tom and Doug. "You know about us, hmm. a shame!"Dougie said quiet and picked up some grass, he riped the grass into many pieces and threw them directly into Bellas head, "Woopsy!"He laughed. "Eww!" "And that's Dougie!"Tom said under his breath rolling his big teddy eyes. Bella shook her head and got up and straighten her clothes. She ran her thin fingers through her fringe looking at some giggling girls slowly making their way towards Danny and Harry. "Why is it a shame?"Bella asked confused putting right hand down to rest on her hip. "'Cause Dougie Poynter don't date fans!"Dougie said cheeky, and got up to his feet looking into Bellas blue eyes, that had a hint of grey as the ray hit them. "Joke!"He laughed, making sure she heard it. "Who said that Bella Walker, would date a guy from her favourite band!"Bella spat out, her cheeks immediatly flush into a red tomato colour. "And beside that, I thought you had a girlfriend!"She mumbled quietly under her breath.
Bella rubbed her neck and reached out her hand to say bye to Tom as he stepped up to his normal hight. Tom completly ignored her hand and spread out his arms going straight for a hug. She gladly let her arms lock around his body and took a deep breath, soundless, he smelled just as good, as she thought, if not better. "Byye!"She grinned at Danny and Harry, she smiled and waved as they turned around and smiled while nodding. "well, I'll hopefully see you again at a concert or a signing!"Bella said and stuck her hands deep down into her pockets, feeling the heartshaped stone from last night, she ran her finger over it and smiled even bigger. "Maybe sooner!"Tom said and blinked. Bella spin around on her heel and started to walk away.
"Eay, Bella!"Dougie shouted, Bella smiled clearing her thoughts turning around. Slowly taking a step forward, closer to Dougie, who now stood still infront of her. "I erm, wanted to give you this!"He said and reached out Bellas pink iPod. "I found it in the grass!"He said and smiled, he separated thoughs thin pink lips showing his flashy, very heartbeating smile. Bella reahed out and took her iPod, touching Dougies fingertips. His soft fingers made her entry body weak. After one single touch she was down on the groud just as if someone had hit an animal in it heart. Sending it straight to the freezing ground. "I bet you stole it out of my pocket, huh?"She said, keeping the conversation going. Dougie grinned, squeezing his eyes together as he smiled. "Yeep, I did. I just had to see you again!"He said and looked down on the ground, as if he was a little boy that had done someting wrong. Well, flirting with a girl, wasn't something new for him, but not everyone would think it was a good idea. "Scoré, I knew that!"She laughed, and looked at the boiling sun. "Well..."Bella breathed. "byyye!"She said, again smiling at him and turned around leaving the park.
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