Part 15...
She felt terrible when she awoke. Her mouth was as dry as sandpaper and her head felt twice as big. She just wanted to die!
Did she really drink that much? Dougie walked in interrupting her thoughts.
-Morning sunshine. He laughed.
-It's not funny she said. Cause she knew she probably looked worse than crap right now.
-Here. He said and gave her some asprins.
-You're my hero. She said and swollowed them.
-Glad you're yourself again.
-What do you mean?
-Oh lets just say you were really drunk! First you were very.. loveing. He said and grinned. And she hid under the duvet.
-And then you cried and said I was to good for you or something like that?
-Oh my god.. That's the last time I'm ever gonna drink.. All I remember is beeing in here with you and then... She stopped herself and suddenly felt sick again. Dougie notised.
-You're okay? He asked and stroke her hair.
-Fine, just nosious sunami. She said with alittle smile and he laughed.
-It's gonna be a fun ride home. She joked.
-Yearh. I'm almost sorry to miss it.
Her smile dissapeared.
-You're not driving with us home?
-No. I'm driving home in the morning.
If there had been awkward silence on the way down here. then this was deadly silence. Emily just tried to sleep, but she could'nt her mind was going crazy, how the fuck was she gonna tell him?
-Where do you live? Tom asked, when they had been driving in something that felt like 10 hours. But probably only were 2.
-Erm.. Dougie said I could just stay at his place untill in the morning.
-Okay. Great. he said, and Emily closed her eyes again.
The first thing she did when she got to dougies was to take a shower and then she walked straight to bed. When she woke up it was dark outside. Her headich was almost gone. And now she just wanted Dougie to come home. Wanted to get all this shit she had done out of her life, and just hoped he would forgive her? Even though she didn't deserv it.
She walked down stairs and drank some water.
Some one rang the door. She went to open and saw Harry.
-What are you doing here? She asked with the same cold voice she had used 2 months earlier when she had met him again.
-I came to drop of that clothes, you forgot...
-Well thank you. But you could just have given it to Dougie some other day. She answered not sounding thankfull at all.
-And I came here to talk. He finished. She didn't answer right away, just looked at him.
-I have nothing to say to you.
-Well then you can listen. He said and walked past her inside.
Emily wanted to scream at him, scream at him that he just should get the fuck out of there! But she also wanted to hear what he had to say.
She followed him into the kitchen, without closing the frontdoor.
-I don't wanna hear anything you have to say, if it wasn't for you my relastionship with Dougie would be great! She yelled at him.
-Would it? he asked in a calm voice. And it pissed her off.
-Stay out of it! She yelled.
-Look, i don't wanna fight..
-Well, I'm not gonna sit down and have a calm conversation with you Harry! She interrupted.
-I just wanna talk about last night. He said after alittle while of silence.
-There's nothing to talk about. Nothing Happened.!.
-But something was about to happen.. He interrupted.
-No it wasn't! She yelled and he looked at her without saying anything at first. They both knew it was a lie.
He didn't know what to say, he just wanted to tell her why.. Get her to forgive him, just.. talk to her again.
-I'm in love with you Em. He said in a low voice after a couple of minutes of silence.
-Don't do this to me Harry. She said back, not angry anymore just.. tired? Because of course she knew, she had just been denaying it.
-Do what?
-Tell me that you love me when I'm with someone else. i can't deal with it.. It's to fucking hard! She said and her eyes started to water up.
He looked at her trying to figure out what that meant.
-Do you love Dougie? He asked. Which made her look up at him and then away again.
-That's none of your buisness Harry! She yelled at him again.
-You didn't answer my question.. He said still in a calm voice, aware that it would piss her off.
She turned around and walked to the window then turned around and looked him again.
-Yes! Yes i do love him! She yelled.
Harry didn't answer it hurted to hear her say that.
-So you don't love me? He asked looking directly at her, she turned around and looked out of the window into the little garden behind the apartment block.
-Does it matter? She sighed at last without turning around.
-Of course it matters! If you love me then...
-Then what!? We can't be together. I'm with Dougie, your best friend for fuck sake! She scremed at him. She knew that she shouldn't scream at him, but she couldn't help it.. It was all his fault! He was about to open his mouth to speak but she interrupted.
-Yes I loved you. I loved you 5 years ago, but things change Harry! People change! She knew he hadn't asked anything but she just needed to tell him.
-You're still you and I'm still me.. And I just want..
-What, a chance? A chance to prove what? That you're better than him? Why can't you just let me be with Dougie. She whispered.
-Because I realized that you don't look at him in the same way you looked at me, at Michael. The way your eyes were sparkling and the way you always got alittle smile on your face.. It's not there anymore, not in the same way..
She looked up at him and a tear started to roll down her cheek, how could he remeber stuff like that?.
-For the first time I'm actually with someone who loves me! Not someone who just come around when ever he wants to borrow some money or have sex! Not someone who throw me into walls when he's drunk and get mad!
-Who threw you into walls? Harry interrupted and looked at her with a conserned look.
-It doesn't matter. But Dougie.. He really loves me! For the first time in forever I feel aprisiated! She yelled with the tears runnig down her cheeks.
Harry didn't know what to say. He didn't know. He felt helpless.
-I.. I didn't know. He just said in a low voice.
-Of course you didn't! Cause you didn't stay in touch. Even though you promissed! Emily couldn't stop it anymore, she had opened up, and she just needed to get it all out.
-Your not a shit better than any of them Harry! You were my best friend, the one person i trusted the most, we slept together and I don't know I thought... She stopped herself and looked away, and then continued.
-We agreed we'd still be friends, you didn't tell me you were leaving, i had to find out myself. You promised you would stay in touch, but you didn't!.. You made me feel so used. The last she whispered. And it gave Harry the shivers, but not in the good way. He didn't answer, just looked at her.
-You promised. She whispered again and looked at him with a blameing look.
Harry had no idear what to do or what to say. He felt sick, sick of himself. He sat down at a chair and looked down at his hands.
-You wanna know why I didn't stay in touch with you? He asked without looking at her.
-That thought drove me crazy for a year! She yelled, not answering his question.
-It was too hard! I.. I just couldn't still have you in my life, and not be with you..
-Well that's comforting! She interrupted and whipped away the tears.
-Don't you see! I couldn't keep beeing in love with you when you were back home, and I was here..
-Come on Harry. You got your dream! You forgot all about me in all the screaming girls and fame!
-I DID NOT! Now it was his turn to yell...
But what the two of them didn't know, was that that in the frontdoor stood Dougie. Dougie who had come home earlie to surprise his girlfriend. But he hadn't expected to be surprised himself. Enough, he told himself, he had heard more than enough. He turned around and walked away...
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